All I can really say is that I’m consistently creating things that leave me scratching my head and I like it. In a sense I really have been here. After meditating about the piece for a little while, I really feel like this is place where I’ve been. The longer I worked on it, the more I felt this to be true. A place from my imagination perhaps, but when I was working on it I knew where everything was spatially and the sensations around me. I pictured being under one of the large leaves laying on the cool pavement while the telephone wires buzzed above. I was in the backseat of the car looking through the front window at the legs of a big yellow floating monstrosity. He seemed harmless enough. The way I see it, this place that I’ve made is real in the same way that my dreams are real. Yes, I don’t experience either with my physical body but when I’m in the act of dreaming or painting I am having the experience of being there in that moment. It’s been a great project for me. I can’t wait to go somewhere else!

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Yeah it’s definitely one of my more disturbing ones. This is the second edition to my continuing series of shadow images. I am still hesitant to put this stuff out there into the world but I came across a quote yesterday from the Gospel of Thomas that reinforced the idea that I should be expressing my shadow. I don’t consider myself a religious person, but I definitely believe that there is a lot that can be learned from the religious traditions that exist today.

If you bring forth what is within you, what is within you will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what is within you will destroy you.

So even if the thoughts and images that I have in my mind are gruesome at times, it seems like it’s better for me to express them creatively instead of holding onto them. Kind of like a fart I guess. You could hold onto it but when you smell it after it comes out, would you ever even think about welcoming it back into your body? I think not. Some things just feel better when you let go of them. Don’t worry. This doesn’t encourage me to fart in a crowded subway car. I try to do it right before I get in.

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I find myself thinking about potential a lot recently. It is rather daunting to think about at times. The infinite amount of possibilities that are there silently waiting within every moment of experience. I looked at my hand the other day and wondered what might spring forth if I was in a dream and could manifest anything instantly. Or better yet, asked the dream to decide for me. It is hard to accept at times but our main limitation is that of our imagination. We can only push our creativity depending on how willing we are to plunge into the deep space that we have yet to venture. When I’m on the subway sometimes I think of how boring it is. People trapped in a habitual loop of staring at the ground day after day afraid to share even a glance with a stranger. Someone once said that humans are not machines but whenever given the opportunity will act like one. We are creatures of habit but these are all breakable habits but first we must recognize them as such. So I invite you to come back to that place of creativity. A place of joy. A place of potential.

I think this sketch is the beginning of something I can mess around with in Photoshop. Check back soon for the next progression!

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